breathe and run

It has been awhile since my last post and it seems like the right time to finally write about my last week or so.  For most of you who know me you know I have ulcerative colitis, but in case you didn't now you do.  I haven't had any type of problem with it in close to two years, so last week caught me a bit off guard when I started to feel sick.  I had put away some medicine just in case something like this happened and used all of what I had last week trying to pull my body back together.  Then on Wednesday I was in a car accident which left me pretty shaken (and my car towed away for body work).  Luckily after a trip to the er I emerged sore but ok. Funny thing is while I was sitting on the curb looking at my damaged car waiting for the police to come all I was thinking about was I hope I will still be able to run this weekend (which was this past weekend). 

It seemed like everything was just going wrong.  Everyone says that the week before you run a marathon you should just take it easy and not let stress affect you in any way - well I guess my life is slightly different then that.  I decided to settle on a different philosophy last week - mine was maybe if everything goes wrong Sunday will go right.  Even on the way up the Albany to see my brother graduate my sister's boyfriend got pulled over twice for speeding on the Taconic within 5 minutes.  Everything was starting to seem a little bleak and maybe like it wasn't meant to be.  Luckily I have a super awesome support system so my sister and her boyfriend Peter kept encouraging me saying that this is what I have been training to do so I should just do it (and that worse case scenario that if I felt really sick they would come get me).  I decided that I hadn't come this far to not even try, so I woke up Sunday and got dressed to run.  

While I wasn't feeling my best I got everything together (sneaks, hydration pack, ipod, gels) and got ready to roll.  Everything just felt really surreal.  My mom and John drove me to start and helped me get mentally ready.  I picked my spot at the start and got situated to settle in.  I definitely got excited at that point.  As the race started and I ran everything felt better.  I starting thinking to myself "you never know what is going to happen or what to expect, but you can just deal with it as it comes up" - and that's what I did.  The first 5  miles were fun.  I was running at a fairly slow and comfortable pace (and even though it was raining it felt amazing).  I struggled between miles 6-10 and then again getting to the half marathon mark.  It was pouring rain at that point and the roads we were running on were dirt with lots of rocks and puddles.  I hit the half marathon mark at about 2:34 and just kept running. 

 

At about mile 17 I started to get pumped again and thought that if I kept focused I could run a sub 5 hour marathon.  Mile 18 felt good and I saw some family friends.  Right before mile 20 I saw my family and all I remember saying was "I'm almost at mile 20" and smiling and waving.  At mile 20 I started thinking holy shit I am actually gonna finish this shit (those were my exact thoughts).  And that's when going slow in the beginning paid off; I never hit the wall and I never felt tired.  I kept thinking you run more then a 10K after work you've got this.  Basically I just counted down the miles and watched my pace.  Every mile closer just felt better than the one before it.  

At mile 25 I decided that it was time and I could see the tents at the finish so I just picked it up.  I ran past all my family and friends who had braved the crappy weather to cheer me on and it felt so good to hear them calling my name.  I ran up the road and came onto the grass to run the chute to the finish.  I can't even express how proud I felt running across the finish line and seeing the clock.  

Running 26.2 miles (and all the training that I did to get me there) was the best thing that I have ever done.  When I was running the marathon not one shred of doubt entered my mind.  I knew that I would get there as long as I didn't give up.  I believed in myself in a way that I have never experienced before.  Run proud!

Thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way!!!