triumph over yourself

What is the biggest challenge of training for a marathon?  This is the BIG question.  I am five weeks (or 33 days to be exact) out from my second marathon and it is finally setting in that I am going to make it through my training (though I don’t want to jinx it – so that’s that on that).  Instead let’s celebrate the fact that I have 13 weeks of training under my belt (i.e 13 long runs ranging from 9-19 miles) that in itself is pretty awesome.  Here’s the scoop I have been training 5 days a week – yup you guessed it I am tired, hungry and tired but I love it.  I made this commitment to train and to do everything in my power to be ready in another 5 weeks and it feels like it is working.  Here’s the thing, I had the absolute worst long run of my training cycle this past Saturday and it showed me what I need to do in the next 5 weeks to be ready for Burlington.  When I say the worst training run I mean it.  My mistakes started last week so here’s what happened: I ran 13.1 miles last Saturday then went to pilates Sunday morning – doesn’t sound bad right?  Yeah then I thought it would be a good idea to take a cycling class Monday, to run in the morning and then take a pilates class in the evening Tuesday, run again Wednesday and then take another pilates class Thursday. That’s six days in a row without a rest day – which I should know because it is totally against my workout philosophy.  My general rule is no more then 3 days in a row without a rest day and never more then two off in a row unless you're injured.  I just got really into getting my workouts in and didn’t consider the cumulative effect they would have on me.  Couple that with not sleeping well Friday night and temperatures in the 70s and you have basically have exactly what happened to me - a disaster.  It was a crappy long run for me because I felt terrible – my legs were fatigued right off the bat, it was much warmer then usual and emotionally I was just as tired as my body.  That all said I still got 18.5 miles in so that is a huge success, but it was a rough 3 hours 44 minutes and 9 seconds – and yes I was totally counting! 

What I learned from this is that you will get there as long as you don’t give up or in; that just like I have to get my workouts in I need my rest days to thank my body for what it can do and let it prepare with stillness.  I also think that I need to go back to using an electrolyte drink in warmer weather.  I know that I am capable of finishing a marathon, but I like the challenge of training. Getting back to question what is the biggest challenge my short answer is the ongoing training is the biggest challenge.  You have to constantly and consistently believe in your capacity to achieve your goal.  Everyday I face the same challenges everyone does. I go to work and I am tired, but what I want to achieve is beyond that. Most days I don’t want to run and am always surprised about how amazing I feel after.  It is a lot of time and effort to put into myself – that is the honest truth.  I am learning new things about myself and have taught myself how to manage my thoughts so that a shitty run doesn’t destroy me - that is invaluable.  Everyday is just that another day – another day to figure it out. 

“Happiness consists in realizing it is all a great strange dream”
― Jack Kerouac 

another one d o n e

I wanted to write this one to share what it’s like to run 19 miles (well 18.95 miles and an uncounted cool down) because it is very different from 4 miles, 8 miles, a half marathon – even 16 miles.  It takes you to this edge that asks you over and over again “who are you?” and “do you really want to keep going?”

On saturday I got up at around 8am, but I needed about an hour to actually get myself out of bed.  I had prepped my drinks and date|coconut oil bar (sounds delish right?) the night before and only had to throw my chia gel together (which is better to do last minute or else it gets too thick in consistency and is pretty gross).  All I needed to do was eat a muffin and half a banana (which is what I always eat long run mornings), get dressed and everything else was ready to go.  I headed out the door and was planning to do a loop from my apartment through midtown and into uptown Kingston before swinging back down Broadway and out Route 32 to Rosendale.  My goal was to hit 10 miles before I got into Rosendale where I would scoop up my running buddy Kelly and we would continue out 32 into New Paltz.  My iphone crapped out in the first two miles – which now means it is going to be a good run (it turned back on about 10 minutes later, but I was prepared to go without music if I had to).  My new philosophy is it is better to have little things go wrong in the beginning and just keep it going totally unscathed.  I really enjoyed this first part of my run – it is perfect outside. 

At mile 10 I was coming into the town of Rosendale and I couldn’t remember where we decided to meet-up so I thought it made the most sense to swing down Main St and then come up Kelly’s street – where she wasn’t waiting because if I had remembered she was down by the bridge.  It was so nice to meet up with her – for the conversation and for being with someone who had just started their run.  If you are familiar with this section of Rosendale up 32 it has a pretty decent sized hill that we needed conquer before it was really comfortable to talk again. 

This is the thing about running you can be comfortable one minute and delirious and/or feeling terrible the next.  I felt pretty awesome into mile 11 (considering I had already been running for 2 hours).  The hill took a lot out of me, but I felt really into the run until about mile 16 and that’s when I started to fade.  I did my best to stay focused on moving, breathing and staying in the moment.  I think about what this means to me, I think about the people that I love and why this is important – because it is important and then sometimes I just try and zone out on a conversation or a song.  You can get lost doing this. 

Anything is possible – that is what I tell myself over and over.  I know that I am totally capable of each run that I set out to complete I just have to believe that I will get there and move through it.  Having a friend with me helped distract me from the fact that I wanted to be done and eating eggs and sipping a chocolate milk.  I needed this run at this distance; needed to know that I can run that far, because I can.  I can run farther, but this is about being ready and that isn’t just being eager to go, but about being prepared to deal with pushing my body past it’s endurance edge which for me is what I experienced this weekend.  we hit 18 miles which is all I had set out to run, but we were still outside of New Paltz so that means keep running until you get there.  That's what happens - you may be done but not anywhere where you can stop so you keep running. 

I had to keep bargaining with Kelly and myself about how much farther I could go.  Once we made it into town I would pick buildings or signs and kept saying “alright I am running to that yellow house and that’s it” which I did until we got to the main light which is where we had intended to run to.  That is where the runner’s high kicked in – when I was done.  I couldn’t believe that I did it and felt really proud and thankful for the sheer fact that I believe enough to try; that I have so many people who stand beside me on these runs; that my body is capable of the miles week after week.  I got home tired and sunburnt, but not at all sore so that’s saying something.  Having five long runs (and a taper) left doesn’t seem so daunting anymore though after this run I couldn’t really function emotionally because I had used everything I had to get through it.  Every moment every day I am in. Ohh yeah still hungry all the time! I finished out this run with the biggest chocolate milk I could get, two eggs, one piece of toast and half a ginormous pancake;) <3