Emphasis on the experience

Why? This is the simple provocative question that keeps racing through my thoughts on a day-to-day basis. Does that seem a little random?  I agree on that one, but it absolutely makes sense to me - or maybe it is just starting to make sense.  I guess I should share the whole question that keeps coming up so the story is a bit more complete. I keep asking myself why do I want to train again?  What am I going to get out of it? How will this affect me and what my life looks like today?  I think you see where I am going with this one.  I do well with structure - with a plan or a schedule.  Left to my own devices I can very easily fall to the other extreme and not want to do anything -ohh the duplicity of Piscean nature!

I see that my motivation has been changing and rather than this ongoing interest in beating a time or conquering a distance, I am chasing the euphoria and elation of the run itself.  To those of you have felt it you know exactly why I would do this.  Running is this odd extra relationship - some fall in love with running right away and for other it takes time. For me, I am not shy about the fact that I have the running love, but maybe my relationship with running is moving past where we have been for a number of years into another stage that I don't quite yet understand.  All I know right now is that I feel like I am trying to figure out the what next part. 

When I think about it I couldn't picture my life without running because it brings me such joy. Training is a huge commitment of time, energy and unwavering love.  It encompasses eating clean, staying hydrated and getting enough sleep so that you have the energy to take on your next run (and your life).  Yesterday I started my day with some cereal and had a cheeseless lunch (which was still tasty) and I went on the great run in Poughkeepsie over the Walkway - 8 miles all in all.  This was after an 8 hour hour work day and was celebrated with a long shower and a meal of roasted kale with olive oil and sea salt, fresh corn and tomatoes, risotto and a veggie burger - yum.  Got up early this morning because I was awake and ran 5K.  I felt a little tired, but wanted to get some extra miles in and start out the day with another run done.  I am going to work this week to eat more completely and get 20+ miles in. Ohh yeah and I decided last night that I am going to reread some of my favorite short stories by Flannery O'Connor - kind of just feels right. 


Faith is what someone knows to be true, whether they believe it or not. - Flannery O'Connor

the week is the way you start it

Seems like an appropriate day for a blog. My reason is yesterday I just had a super crappy day (probably my own doing) and I'm not sure exactly why, but for the entire day I was just in a cranky uninterested mood. I felt tired and just blah.  I knew that I needed to get a run in, but really just wasn't into it.  The run, the scheduling of the run and deciding where to run was aggravating me for no reason.  My co-worker and running friend Kelly suggested that we get out of Kingston and try out the rail trail in Hurley.  I just didn't want to run in Kingston or for that matter run at all, but it sounded like a decent compromise so I went with it.  When it hit 5pm I trudged home, put my running clothes on and laid down on the couch.  It was not looking good...90 degrees outside, cranky me and the feeling of dread was growing.  I called Kelly and we met up.  There are just too many things to worry and stress about and all of them don't actually get you anywhere. Had a little chat on the drive out where we both discussed how we needed this run.

That was a complete understatement.  Best thing that I did yesterday was that run.  We didn't plan how far we would go, but it ended up that once we hit the 5K and still felt it we just kept going and did 6.1 miles. I wouldn't say it was easy, but it changed everything aka got me out of my head enough to appreciate a solid hour outside in the woods, without music, to hear my breathe and to reconnect with what makes me feel my best. We came out of the woods sweaty with bugs squashed to us, dirt all over our legs and huge smiles.  That's why I love running.  You don't know you want it and sometimes it is the one thing that you don't want to do, but it is the only thing that you actually need.  Your brain craves the silence and your body thrives on the speed.  It's uncomplicated - focus, breath, legs, core - repeat.  That run got me pumped to go out again and I already did a 3.6 miler before work this morning.  run love.

"Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again." - Joseph Campbell