the fear

So here is my weekend recap...rested Thursday and Friday and had a terrible Saturday long run.  When I say terrible I mean it!!  I woke up tired and by mile 5 my knee was killing me.  My knee was just so tight every step was just ridiculous.  I never and I mean never stop to walk and I totally did (and I am admitting that).  All I could think was that if I kept going I was really going to damage my knee.  Luckily, I shortened the run and was almost home by the time I was feeling this crappy.  What I am most proud of about this run is I didn't beat myself up for not getting the number of miles in that I had wanted to.  Normally my first impulse would be that I would just be disappointed in myself for not doing what I set out to do.  Instead I was just happy that I got a run in and I also need to come up with an updated game plan for getting through the next month.  For this I am happy because I am trying to learn how to deal with the unexpected - not a bad skill to have. 

A little later in the day  I hobbled away with my mom and brother to Vermont (and I only had a moderate Frankenstein walk at that point) where we were treated to yummy food, beautiful views and lovely company.  Yesterday my mom, my aunt and I drove the marathon course - WOW is all I have to say.  I didn't really want to see the whole course but I did.  Not that that was the best thing ever but now I know.  I don't mean to sound silly or unthoughtful, but it was FAR and there were miles upon miles that were simply unpaved packed dirt and gravel.  In one way I am really looking forward to the unpaved roads because overall it will be easier on my knees, but these were some serious mountain roads.  On top of the terrain I was also wondering about inclines, which all in all didn't look so bad - but you never know what something is going to feel like miles and miles into a run.  

I am still in it, but a little scared about all these variables that are coming up.  I am just trying to ground myself in putting in some good training this week and figuring out the rest of this as I go.  It seems like a good idea to stick to some spinning this week and see how my knee is towards the end of the week.  I ordered some SpiderTech tape and am hoping that will help.  In the meantime I just want to run, but instead have to switch it up in order to get to run.