Why? This is the simple provocative question that keeps racing through my thoughts on a day-to-day basis. Does that seem a little random? I agree on that one, but it absolutely makes sense to me - or maybe it is just starting to make sense. I guess I should share the whole question that keeps coming up so the story is a bit more complete. I keep asking myself why do I want to train again? What am I going to get out of it? How will this affect me and what my life looks like today? I think you see where I am going with this one. I do well with structure - with a plan or a schedule. Left to my own devices I can very easily fall to the other extreme and not want to do anything -ohh the duplicity of Piscean nature!
I see that my motivation has been changing and rather than this ongoing interest in beating a time or conquering a distance, I am chasing the euphoria and elation of the run itself. To those of you have felt it you know exactly why I would do this. Running is this odd extra relationship - some fall in love with running right away and for other it takes time. For me, I am not shy about the fact that I have the running love, but maybe my relationship with running is moving past where we have been for a number of years into another stage that I don't quite yet understand. All I know right now is that I feel like I am trying to figure out the what next part.
When I think about it I couldn't picture my life without running because it brings me such joy. Training is a huge commitment of time, energy and unwavering love. It encompasses eating clean, staying hydrated and getting enough sleep so that you have the energy to take on your next run (and your life). Yesterday I started my day with some cereal and had a cheeseless lunch (which was still tasty) and I went on the great run in Poughkeepsie over the Walkway - 8 miles all in all. This was after an 8 hour hour work day and was celebrated with a long shower and a meal of roasted kale with olive oil and sea salt, fresh corn and tomatoes, risotto and a veggie burger - yum. Got up early this morning because I was awake and ran 5K. I felt a little tired, but wanted to get some extra miles in and start out the day with another run done. I am going to work this week to eat more completely and get 20+ miles in. Ohh yeah and I decided last night that I am going to reread some of my favorite short stories by Flannery O'Connor - kind of just feels right.
Faith is what someone knows to be true, whether they believe it or not. - Flannery O'Connor
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